Lessons are learned by adversity, and of course criticizing an aspect of a place doesn't mean you are against it, especially somewhere with as much to offer as Lithuania.

First, I would like to say that I really appreciate the comments on this site on my previous article. Instead of just telling me to leave, you have given me a lot to think about regarding my reactions to this incident.

I am learning, or trying to, as quickly as a stubborn Idaho woman can. I really hope that next time I can wake up to the reality that is being shown to me without literally being beaten over the head with it.

That being said, in order to really close the book on the whole skinhead debacle, I really feel like I need to talk a little about what it’s taught me. I don’t think I would go so far as to thank the people who attacked me, but I really think I have learned things that I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t gone through such an experience. I hope so, at least.

First is that I can’t just assume that I know the threat that people pose based on my previous experience. To paraphrase the Outlander character Jamie Fraser, I come from a place where things aren’t quite so serious. I was applying Idaho standards, under which they would have postured, given us dirty looks, then went home and played video games or whatever it is that they do in their spare time. Now that I know violence lives a lot closer to the surface in some places, I can act accordingly.

I have learned that many Lithuanians appreciate us foreigners, even when we are naïve and don’t behave according to the rules because we don’t know what they are. While there are some vocal anti-foreigner groups here (hence the parades, concerts, and protests that have been seen lately) and they have a degree of support in the public sphere that is more than a little troubling.

There are also many people here who realize that it’s just as hard for me to step outside my cultural system as it is for then to deal with me being an oblivious idiot. It’s not something that comes naturally on either side.

Finally, I have learned a little about fear and about caution, and how those two things are related but not necessarily the same thing.

This attack was the first time in my life that someone has deliberately done me harm so for those first few weeks, I was scared. I barely went out after dark; when I did I was jumping at shadows and paying bums well just to leave me alone. Now, I think I have learned to just be cautious, more or less. I am still hyperaware of my surroundings, but it’s not exhausting like being afraid all the time (and it’s cheaper!).

I hope that people don’t have the impression that I am anti-Lithuanian at all because I am vocal about what happened to me. I like it here, I have many good Lithuanian friends, and incidents like this are thankfully rare. If I didn’t feel a connection to this place, it would have been an easy thing to be on the first plane home. Since I do, I want to contribute to the discussion about the things that are happening here, good and bad.

Charissa Brammer is an American student that has been studying at Vilnius University since the fall. Read more of her writing here.

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Views expressed in the opinion section are never those of the Baltic Reports company or the website’s editorial team as a whole, but merely those of the individual writer.